Wolverine DC-ed: A Junky Fan Theory

Written by Orutakawa Teng’a’

The Teleportation.

      A nondescript Wolverine is on a berzerker rage in a teleporting experiment’s laboratory & crosses wires sending him into a DC Universe: A DC universe as nondescript as any other save his presence there. Somehow during the teleportation, he’s rendered unconscious, so he doesn’t see what’s happening.

The Wakeup & Subsequent Chaos.

     The moment Logan wakes up he is hit with a cornucopia of scents he’s never known; as a result he goes wild wondering what is going on & attacks the nearest metahuman hero or villain, closest in scent and appearance to one of his enemies. The whole of his victim’s associations come to deal with him. A whole scene of Biblical violence occurs trying to stop who everyone thinks is a mindless savage with an unbreakable body. This occurs for quite awhile.

   Eventually the Justice League gets called in, which only heats the battle up. It takes a bit longer for a telepath in the JL to reach in and mentally shut him down for the time being. In the Watchtower cell he wakes from being zonked out, he gets up, and walks to the door finding himself looking at Martian Manhunter. J’onn says, “From your memories I picked the name Logan up and saw where you came from. I am J’onn J’onzz and you are far from home, we do not have a way to return you there. If you promise to remain calm we will release you.” Logan will agree, get released, and go on a bender of epic proportions; even by his standards.

The Sobering.

   One day Wolverine is minding his own business in Gotham trying to lay low. He’ll see Bruce Wayne walking into Wayne Enterprises, smell his scent, & then remember that smell emanating from Batman. Then a villain like Bane will begin tearing through Gotham, an action Wolvie can’t let continue; so a David v. Goliath battle between them begins wrecking a condemned building or construction site. Batman arrives to minimize the damage, teams up with Old Snikt, & soon enough Bane is dealt with. Logan would say, ‘Thanks rich boy, I had it covered.” Batman would say in a rare moment of shock, “But how, we’ve never met before?” Logan will respond, “I have the attributes of a wolverine and that’s what I was called back home.” The pair would converse for a while & go their separate ways.

  Wolverine would start doing more & more heroic acts whether or not he intends to. After said heroics the Justice League will invite him to join. He’d reluctantly agree to do so. Then he’d start feeling at home.

The Snikter’s Socratics.

He’s Wolverine, so he’d be the best at what he does & what he does ain’t very nice. The only notable change is who he’s snikting. Although the one major thing is that he’d suffer depression from losing his friends & any family he had; not that he’d ever admit it. I do sense he’d usually team up with the Suicide Squad as an immortal guard in tow. He’d definitely be a JL Dark team member more often than a JL Light member.

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