Thor Ragnarok Rant

This a Thor Ragnarok Rant! I know, I know a little late for a Thor Ragnarok movie review but this has been on my mind for a while now and I still feel compelled to talk about it. Thor wasn’t the King of Asgard he was the King of Comedy and I absolutely hated it! Don’t get me wrong the movie was very entertaining and really funny, the action was awesome yet I was more than displeased with the movie itself for one simple reason. The comedy! I want to get into the reasons why I rate this movie as one of the most disappointing movies in the MCU when everyone else rated it so high.

The Comedy

Honestly from the opening scene I was disgusted with the comedy. Everyone in the Theatre was giggling and laughing hysterically. I even chuckled a few times myself and I was actually OK with it early on and in certain spots throughout the movie, but then it never stopped. Punchline after punchline kept coming, like it was 2007 and Lil Wayne was dropping a new mixtape. This is not what I was expecting nor what I wanted to see from a Thor movie. I want to see Thor for what he really is and that’s a Titan Killing, long haired, hammer throwing bad guy crushing complete bad ass GOD of Thunder! Once in a while a punctual one timer is cool from Thor but these guys put him on stage like he was the King of Comedy instead of the King of Asgard. Thor is a serious character and what they did with him was less than desirable in my eyes. This was Marvel‘s opportunity to turn Thor into an even more serious and evil devastating hero, instead he cracked jokes all movie long. Lame!

The Hulk

The battle scene between Thor and Hulk was awesome! I’m not complaining about the action in this movie at all but the story line was pretty lame. Where did The Hulk come from? How did he get to Sakaar and end up in the gladiator games? The Quinjet? The Hulk can fly the Quinjet? Was the Quinjet even capable of space travel? How come at the end of Age of Ultron when Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow, was talking to him as he sat on the Quinjet; he didn’t transform back into Bruce Banner, but a glitched up recorded video memory triggered Bruce’s return? Kind of weak if you ask me. So your telling me the Hulk flew the Quinjet out of our Galaxy to the other side of the Universe, landed it on Sakaar and started battling in the Arena? Lame!  Nothing about Planet Hulk, Nothing!? Then they put the big guy in a hot tub in a decked out high rise condo. Oh yeah, and he could have intellectual conversation without even mentioning Maestro or Planet Hulk? Lame! The best I can hope for is a flashback in a new stand alone Hulk movie that explains everything.

The Losses

Let’s see, have they ever stripped away anything from a hero like they did Thor in Ragnarok? I don’t think so. Sure, all of our hero’s suffer loss and defeat along the way but this movie was a little out of control. Thor lost his hammer, his eye, his father, his hair and his home. That’s a little much don’t ya think? Even worse, a couple movies later Thor lost his ship, his brother, Heimdall and from what we currently know, the rest of his people, when Thanos attacked his ship and took the Space Gem. OK, they cut his hair, big deal, I get it. They were trying to revitalize the character and thought maybe a new look would do it. He lost Mjonir, no big deal, even in the comics he had a different weapon in the form of an axe. His dad was old and Odin always was a somewhat forgettable character to begin with. I don’t get the whole eye thing, especially when they just gave it right back to him in his next movie appearance. Losing Asgard however is a complete tragedy and was absolutely unnecessary. Now here Thor stands full of losses in Infinity War and is still just as funny as ever. Lame! At least he got his eye back and replaced Mjolnir with Storm Breaker.

The Lame

How about the fact that almighty Thor got an “obedience disk” or electrical shock zapper, thing buried in his neck and it actually controlled him. I mean it’s not like electricity and lightning flows through Thor’s body or anything. Really? Thor controlled by a dog collar? That thing was wicked powerful I guess. Valkyrie should just throw them things on everyone, she’d beat Thanos in a second with that! They could have come up with a better plot to get Thor and Hulk in the Arena.

The Lamer

Asgard is not a place it’s a people? Super Lame! Asgard IS a place! It’s one of the most beautiful places in the Universe. Asgard destroyed was a complete tragedy. If they really wanted to stick to the comics they should have just destroyed all 9 realms. Yeah that’s right, the whole thing, except earth that is. The comics actually put Asgard as a floating fortress of God like people over Oklahoma of all places. Regardless, if they wanted to destroy Asgard just destroy it! Don’t insult us or try to make us feel better about it by trying to trick us into thinking it’s not a place it’s a people. Lame! Just blow it up and let us feel awful about it. Shaking my head at trying to Sugar coat to the demise of Asgard.

The Lamest

Thor didn’t even beat the bad guys! The villains end up getting destroyed when Asgard blows up. Thor hops on a Spaceship and takes off. Come on really? Even the Hulk took a shot at Surtur. Then Thor begged him to stop smashing and walk away. To me this was a travesty. The two most powerful beings to date in the MCU, running from battle. The Thor I know and love would have been looking for more of a fight and he would be winning that fight! He would be looking for a challenge and egging on his rival in a sarcastic way like he did in the Frost Giant scene and in Age of Ultron. “At least make it a challenge for me” or “Is that the best you can do”? Nope, instead this Thor (Ragnarok) the King of Comedy hopped on a ship and high tailed it out of there to let Hela battle it out with Surtur. Go ahead tell me he knew the planet was going to explode, um no wait you can’t because he was shocked when it did. Even Korg made a comment about it’s core and being able to rebuild on the surface. Then it exploded! Another lame joke in the middle of disparity.

The ROI

This blog has ripped apart Thor Ragnarok so far, you might be asking yourself, what was the return on investment? This movie was like a bad round of golf, it really was disappointing or frustrating but had enough good shots to make you want to come back. The action was awesome! The scenes when Thor had lightning running through his veins and lighting up the sky was crazy cool. Surtur was a pretty awesome bad guy and when Thor and Hulk met in the Arena I was super gassed! That scene was completely radical and I’ll put the movie on once in awhile and just go right to that Thoro y Hulko arena scene. The CGI was incredible, The Hulk looked super real and the outer space scenery was breathtakingly amazing. Valkyrie’s remote controlled gloved hand gun ship scene was pretty lit and when she torched a ton of alien people in the Junkyard while crushing a bottle of brown I fell in love all over again. Loki was Loki, The Grandmaster was quirky but entertaining, Korg was pretty cool and Hela was super impressive as a villain. A couple of really awesome action scenes and great character performances saved the movie in my opinion. I was so mad at this movie, I wanted to see some dead Avengers in Infinity War. Thanks Russo Brothers! I will be curious to see if anything taken from Thor will be resurrected when the Avengers get the time stone back in Avengers 4. For now we will just have to wait and see. Rant End! Thanks for reading!

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