Oh, Lupe Fiasco, who spits fire like Tabasco. I’m gonna take the high road since you Daigo’d Daigo. Well, not really. See, you play Ken, which is fine. But don’t play him again cause he ain’t your lifeline. I’ve said it to others and I’ll say it to you: STREET FIGHTER IS MORE THAN II.
Daydreamin’ about the game, but it’s not the same because while you got the fame, you let your skills go lame. Yes, Ken is iconic, but it’s rather moronic: your choice was cyclonic. Isn’t that ironic? You won Grammys for being new, for being true, for being you, but your gaming is stale like kale.
…serving for lunch Hadoken and Dragon Punch, listening to your opponent’s bones go crunch, but Lupe Fiasco, I have a hunch that, while you like Ken, you know there’s something more – something you were destined for. Or in this case, someone. You want fun in the sun and burn them like Count Dracula? Then “she” should be your station – my recommendation is Sakura.
She’s like Ken, but she isn’t, her popularity is visceral, making fans say “No, she didn’t!”, making other players miserable. All Ken can do is fidget, to all, his flaws are visible. But if you play the student, your fans will cheer at every decibal.
And don’t the sound of doom always sound so melodic? Oh wait, that’s not Sakura, that’s somebody bred with Psycho Power, would you rather play Ed instead?
I got two new World Warriors, one Alpha, one Five, making Q clutch his head, goin’ “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.” But they ain’t no Power Rangers and Q’s more than a stranger, the Original G, with the lady goin’ “Danger.” He’s from SF3, but I guess I’m going too far – let’s get back on track before everything gets “fubar.”
Lupe, you okay?
You seem a little stunned. I’m not trying to harm, I’m trying to make the game fun. Sakura’s sweet, and Ryu’s biggest fan, while Ed is trying and learning to be a man. And Q, he’s the mystery, biggest one in history. Play them all at once, your palms will get all blistery.
Don’t think of me as harping on you like a virago; we’re both kindred spirits ’cause we’re both from Chicago. It’s the home of NRS, but Capcom was tighter. That’s why we decided to stick to Street Fighter. And 30 years later, here we are past the fog: you get to play Daigo, I get to write a blog.
So the only thing I ask while I knock on all the doors: make me famous or at least make Sakura yours.
(Steven Mane is a voice actor and Street Fighter fanatic who writes Street Fighter lore theories in his spare time. Check out all of his theories at Mane Street and make sure you follow him on Twitter at @StevenManeVox).