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Mane Street Soapbox: Street Fighter is More Than II! (2/10)

TRUE LIES?

Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. You trying to be the cool mom type. Come on, Jamie. We all saw you button mashing in that Jace Hall segment. Come on, you’re too busy as an actress to actually sit down and play.

Super Mario Party… with the Game Grumps. Ok…. It’s a start. But, Jamie, you’ve got to do better than that. Sure, party games are fun, but what happened to you playing Street Fighter? Remember that interview you did with Washington, D.C. interviewer Kevin McCarthy?

You’re a Cammy player! Way to show off that scrub Kevin McCarthy! Still, as stated in the comments, you lose credibility for mispronouncing “Hadouken” and “Shoryuken”. I don’t know how you could get it back. It just makes you seem like a try-


Y… You went as Vega at Evo 2015. Oh… Ok.

I mean, fine. But, you know, while Vega’s definitely old school, the truth is you’re going to have to give me more than that. STREET FIGHTER IS MORE THAN II!

 

…Your whole family went to EVO 2015 in cosplay. You went as Vega, your son went as Dee Jay, your sister went as Makoto from Street Fighter 3, and your husband went as Dr. Bosconovitch from Tekken….

 

 

I know when I’ve been beat….

Ok, I give up. You’re the cool mom. You know Street Fighter (and Tekken). Well, alright. Then I have no choice but to address that entertainment journalist prodigy and gaming scrub Kevin McCarthy. (Also, shout out to my friend Jake Hamilton at FOX 32 Chicago, who does the Reel Blend podcast with him and is a far better gamer.)

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A New Challenger Has Emerged!

Kevin, you haven’t played Street Fighter in a long time; it’s obvious, what with you being a full-time journalist and all. However, you need to recognize that since those days, Street Fighter has changed for the better. And for a guy like you, there’s only one character you need. He’s a movie buff, oblivious to the world of Street Fighter, and, surprisingly enough, is a Ken guy.

Rufus, the Doofus

This is Rufus, a biker who is obsessed with Ken Masters, believing him to be his rival. Rufus believes that Ken is intentionally trying to avoid him because, in Rufus’s mind, he’s the better fighter. Ken, on the other hand, has no idea who he is, but tries to offer Rufus help in Rufus’s ending in Street Fighter 4.

At the time of this article, Rufus has not been in a game since Street Fighter X Tekken, and hasn’t been in the main story since Ultra Street Fighter IV, where he and his ditzy girlfriend, Candy, biked to the North Pole, presumably to never be seen again. Kevin, I’m not saying you should follow suit – that would be mean and unjustified. I am saying you need to go up there and find him, because he’s a guy I know you’d like – easy to pick up and play, fast for a character his size, and one obscure enough that he may just get you interested in the game again.

So I guess the final question is, “Why am I picking on you for something that happened five years ago?” This is the internet, that’s why. Also, it’s “Reh-yu” not “Rye-yu”.

(Steven Mane is a voice actor and Street Fighter fanatic who writes Street Fighter lore theories in his spare time. Check out all of his theories at Mane Street and make sure you follow him on Twitter at @StevenManeVox)

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